Today was a pivotal day in my life. After being separated for over 5 yrs, I filed for divorce!
We were at the Clerk's desk and we had to keep swearing that information was true, blah blah blah and at one point she said something about filing other papers and that if we wanted to take that time to think about "it" that was OK. I was like, "Are you kidding me? No, we're getting divorced!" He on the other hand was more like, "Yah, you should listen to her. She knows what she's talking about."
My response, "Any way we could expedite this?" *grin*
We had to run (yes I literally speed walked) to another part of the courthouse to drop off papers with a different office and then go back to the clerk again to have her file them with our other stack. Trust me, the "ex" could barely keep up. I think he was a bit surprised at how excited I was through the entire process. He shouldn't have been. Trust me. He knows this has been coming for such a long time.
Well, my excitement turned to disappointment when in the afternoon I received a call letting me know we were going to have to pay the full filing fee instead of having it waived. So, that means tomorrow I have to go slap down $400 to get the divorce on the record books and get a date!
Yes, for me that will be a significant amount of dough with all the things I actually "need" it for. But, I NEED this divorce. I need to move on with my life. I'm ready for it. I've lost 5 yrs of my life, gone into my 40s while waiting. Waiting for God to change my heart or to allow me to leave. I've been allowed and I'm running for the door!
This won't be easy by any stretch of the imagination. I'm excited to have closure on this painful part of my life, but it's also scary. I have to trust him to be a man of his word. Something he's had a very hard time doing. I believe that he loves his boys enough to continue to do the right thing. Time will tell.
Yep, this marriage, I'm outta here! C'est la vie!