When I first met Fred, one of the things he used to say to me was how he saw me as a Proverbs 31 woman. I knew how far off the mark he was with his observation, but from a couple of thousand miles away, that’s what he expressed. (Right now I know he wishes he could eat those words, along with many others)
I on the other hand knew that being a Proverbs 31 woman was the furthest thing from who I truly and and tried to explain to him, “I’m just no that woman.”
In scripture, the title of this section is “A Wife of Noble Character.” When I read that the first time, after having gotten to know Fred and he started referring to me as this woman, I did a bit of swooning. See, his last name is Noble. I wanted to also BECOME a Mrs. Noble once I started to get to know him, so it all worked well in my head!
What I’m hoping to do is continue, for now, with my break from the Love Dare because a lot has happened since Day 8. Lots of books can be good and helpful, but THE Book is where I need to turn to, and where I’ve been turning to.
I’m not sure that I’ll ever fully be a Proverbs 31 woman or that I’ll even have the chance to be a Mrs. Noble, but what I do know is that God is in the business of healing and changing us when we allow him. That’s the crux of it all. Wanting to change and allowing change are two very different things. I’ve wanted to change for a very long time, but allowing it to happen hasn’t occurred.
I’m the person who says, “I want to change, God. Ok, now I’m going to do it.” Somehow in the back of my mind I think because I’ve said I want to do it, some of God’s non-existent ‘I want to change’ fairy dust will poof me into a new person. And I’m sure God looks down from his throne thinking, “Oh, you’re going to do it? Be sure to include me when you’ve come to the end of yourself.”
Well, once again I’ve come to the end of myself. I’ve been here before, but this time? This time I can see and feel the work he’s doing, as I have before. I’m being intentional. I’m doing it by the power of the Word and the truth of his Word. It’s all I have left. Wish it was where I had started. I still have so much to learn on this faith journey.
We’re going to start out and go verse by verse and we’ll see what God reveals to me, and hopefully to you. Here is Proverbs 31:10
“having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals”
Ok, so honestly, I don’t possess fine personal qualities, BUT I have very high moral principles and ideas. That second part can be a very good thing to have, especially in this world today. Unfortunately, I’ve taken morality and become legalistic. Let me tell you, it’s a fine balance of having high morals and not being legalistic.
Now, while I may be 100% right in my morals, forcing someone else to live by those morals when they don’t agree with them, is also 100% wrong. Yes, there’s nothing wrong with me sharing my views, getting upset and throwing a tantrum when those morals aren’t followed is as far away from being Christ-like as I can imagine a Christian being.
If a man were to find a woman who showed she had good personal qualities and had high moral principles and ideas, it shows there a beautiful worth to it! She’s worth far more than rubies. Rubies are a precious stone. Imagine how precious they were back then when they used those words to describe this woman.
Imagine how rich a man’s life would be if he were to find a woman like this. Talk about swooning. I think Fred would be mooneyed at me if I were actually this woman. And this is where it starts, at the beginning. Women, we need to be women of noble character!
I think of how I haven’t been this woman with Fred and I’m ashamed. God has been revealing the pride I’ve been living with and forcing on Fred because of my “high moral principles”. The commentary in The Transformation Study Bible says this:
“Marriage doesn’t change a person’s character. If either the husband or the wife has character weaknesses, marriage will only reveal and accentuate them. A husband or wife who hopes to change his or her spouse after the honeymoon is destined for disappointment.”
Yes, the all mighty, “but I can change him,” has resonated with me. Change after the honeymoon? Why not before? I mean, hello! Remember my moral principles? Yea, they’re godly, so what are we missing? It’s NOT complicated. If he would just listen to me and figure out how right I am, well, he’d be much better off, sheesh.
Yea, can’t you feel the love? I tend to start off with right motives and finally move to a place where I’m just beyond ridiculous. No where near being a “noble” girlfriend/wife. Just because God has spoken to me and brought me to a place where he wants me, I have felt it my duty to bring Fred into that knowledge as well. All it’s done is create a wedge and driven us apart. There’s no sign of me being a woman of noble character whatsoever in that behavior or attitude.
GOD, God has to do the work! It’s his work to do. He sent the Holy Spirit for a reason. He didn’t send Mimi! You would think by now I’d know I can’t “fix” anyone! IF there’s work to be done, God has to be the one to do it. Not me! I know, quite the revelation, but there are a few things I’m quite stubborn with and take a long time to get through my thick skull!
Looking at 1 Peter 3:1-2 explains this perfectly. Even if what I say to Fred is ignored, that doesn’t mean I harass him relentlessly. It means I share what God has laid on my heart and then I need to live a godly life and allow God’s Spirit to do It’s work.
And the thing is, in this time of waiting, I’M the one who has to be still. I’M the one who has to say, “God’s will be done.” At that point, I have to let it go. Now, easier said than done, I tell ya! But, I’ve had some good experience with it over the weekend and God, yep, he’s been faithful at each moment. He is changing ME! He keeps showing up every time I cry out to him and hand everything over to him.
From there, I can start my journey on being a Proverbs 31 woman!