Oh boy, going through Proverbs 31 is going to be quite a challenge. In a good way, but a challenge nevertheless. Why? Because currently, it is showing me all of the ways I have failed Fred. Now, you as a reader might think that’s a bit strong to think I’ve failed him, but I can assure you, I have.
This isn’t a “waaah waaah waaah” session. No need to feel sorry, for Fred yes, but not for me. It is very eye opening and heart opening. It is revealing to me how much harm can be done to those you love when you don’t follow God’s plan, his design.
The Transformation Study Bible says it this way:
“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.”
Husbands and wives need to trust each other. It’s essential to any relationship, but especially the marital one. Of course, I have to go by the “girlfriend” version of it, but trust starts there.
I’m not one who’s big on trust with men who are close to me. I’ve mentioned it in the past and that’s where I plan on letting it stay. I’ve carried around a lack of trust for so long, it’s part of my identity. Fred received the fallout of the men who haven’t been trustworthy in my life. Lack of trust is no way to build a relationship.
On the flip side, I can say with confidence that when it comes to trusting me, he can’t.
Trusting someone doesn’t just have to do with fidelity. Trust is all encompassing. Can he trust me with his heart? Can he trust me with his emotions? Can he trust me with his children? Can he trust that I will build him up and not tear him down? With how I have been behaving, Fred would have no reason to have any confidence in me. That being said, I know Fred knows my heart. He knows that I am not intentionally trying to hurt him or anyone else. Ok, well, there might be a couple of people I’d like to hurt, but we’ll save that for another blog post. Maybe. Ok, highly doubtful.
So, how do you build confidence in your significant other? You build them up face to face and around others. You parent with love (yours and his if you have children). You look outside of yourself, your “rights”, and look to the needs of others; including those inside your home and outside of it. You treat him with respect.
I also don’t speak about or look at other men improperly. I have never said once, “Oh man, he’s hot.” I also try not to even entertain thoughts of finding another man attractive. Really, it’s not helpful to your emotions or state of mind. Even if it’s some stranger or an actor. I understand how some people might look at it as no big deal, but I don’t ever want him to think I’m thinking of another man.
The next part of this verse talks about lacking nothing of value. Basically he has everything that’s important. He’s not lacking anything in his life.
Isn’t that what we want for the men in our lives? We don’t want them to lack anything! We want their lives to be full and abundant. WE have such a huge part in that. As girlfriends, as wives, we have the opportunity to enrich the lives of our men! That’s such a huge calling.
And ladies, I’m not saying men don’t have their part in the relationship, they do. This is simply one part of scripture that I’m covering right now so that I can learn to be the woman who can love, support and honor the man in her life. I have a long way to go in this. Getting rid of my own agenda and picking up what God is calling me to, is what needs to be done in my life.
What about you? Do you need to do the same? Can you go to your husband/boyfriend and ask him if he has full confidence and trust in you? Does he feel like his life lacks nothing of value or what’s important? Granted, some men might feel that because they don’t like their job, don’t have a 52” Smart Plasma TV, and don’t drive a 2014 Audi R8 that they ARE lacking things of value. That’s not what I’m talking about here.
It’s about the richness, deepness, and security of their home lives that I’m referring to. In the end, that’s what’s important.
Does your boyfriend/husband have full confidence in you?