Have you ever done a fast before? I realize that people fast for many reasons. I personal do it so I can hear more clearly from the Lord. When my belly growls, I’m reminded to turn to Him for what I’m praying about, what’s on my mind, or simply to hear better from him.
For me, when I fast, I am denying myself and taking my needs to the Lord. And let me tell you, those times when I have fasted, He as been faithful to meet me each time, right where I’m at. Would He meet me regardless of whether I fasted or not? Of course! I am His daughter. He loves me like no other.
The point of my fasting is obedience. I don’t take fasting lightly. I know it’s for a purpose. So, when God calls me to do it, it becomes an act of obeying His voice.
I’m an emotional person. Those who know me best (ahem Lisa & Lisa) know that my emotional pendulum can swing wildly sometimes. Let me just say, I love them for how they love me even in those crazy times!
Lisa P has always been the person I can go to when I’m smack dab in the middle of an emotional…whatever. If I’m ticked off, she listens to me, responds, we talk it through, she brings me clarity, and I get over it with no damage in sight. Other times, when I’m not seeing clearly, or am too far into my muck, I don’t call her. I don’t reach out and I typically have to go back and apologize to someone for my behavior, things I’ve said, etc.
Lately, it seems as if I just can’t find my “happy” place. My joy in the Lord seems to be missing. I know one part is that since I moved, my morning prayer time and time in the Word has stopped. I can blame it on many things that are valid, but in the end, I’ve just not taken the time. My bible has begun to gather dust and it sits, waiting for me to crack it open.
When that joy seems depleted or gone, I tend to take it out on those around me, those closest to me. I get into this zone, where my emotions are what I’m going by. If I’m hurt or sad, I stay there, not being able to shake it, not being able to see the forest through the trees. It’s a very heavy weight. As in, I can feel it throughout my entire body.
Do you ever get to that place? You get tunnel vision because of your emotions and/or your thoughts? What do you do to shake it, how do you get away from it so you can see everything clearly again?
Sometimes for me it’s as simple as talking, or arguing, through it. I get to the other side and everything is ok again. Other times, like today, I knew I needed to fast. I was just in such a yucky place. So, I started off my morning with nothing to eat. I had my coffee, but that was it. I spent the day working and going through emails and working on my blog.
Throughout the day, when my belly would growl or I’d feel hunger, I’d just turn it over to Him. It wasn’t until just before the boys got home that I actually went to the Word. Now, I know, I actually should’ve started my day IN the Word. I didn’t. Hopefully I will next time. Maybe next time I’ll have my bible next to me as I fast so I can go to it throughout the day. Who knows. I just know that right now I’m not going to go on a guilt trip. God isn’t about that.
As I opened the Word, I immediately landed at Proverbs 2. I actually had no idea where I was going to go in the Bible to figure out how to adjust my attitude, but as I began to read, it’s as if God were speaking directly to what I was going through in wrestling with my emotions.
And here, here sat what I needed all along. If I would’ve sought the Lord, His wisdom from the very start, I could’ve avoided all of the crud, or at least most of it. I could’ve asked God if what I was feeling had any truth attached to it. Honestly, yes, some. I think our emotions can be an indicator of things happening in our lives and around us. But it’s when we take those emotions and thoughts and don’t bring them captive to God that we run the risk of sinning or hurting others and ourselves.
God tells us in Proverbs 2 that He “grants wisdom”! He also “grants a treasure of common sense”. Seriously, I could’ve used a good dose of both of those the last couple of days. In my pride, because I wanted to figure this out for myself, I neglected to go to the One who would give me the wisdom and understanding I needed to see everything around me more clearly.
In that moment, when I read, I knew I had the answer…at least today. I often know the answer when I’m not in the middle of life. When I’m not living in the moment, I know exactly what I should do. My prayer is that I will somehow be able to shake off what overcomes me and go immediately to the Lord and ask Him to show me what I need to overcome what I’m going through.
If you are going through something some struggles, I know that the Lord wants to bring you wisdom, understanding and joy. He loves you more than any other and cares for you deeply. Give it over to Him and He will be your help.