Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Love Dare Day 8: A Jealous Bone

So far with a couple of the chapters of the Love Dare, I’ve thought they were going to be about one thing and they somewhat, for the most part, turned out to not be about that one thing.

History has taught me that I have every reason to have a jealous bone in my body. Men aren’t trust worthy (so says my past) so it makes sense to be jealous of any woman who could possibly catch the eye of my guy. Fred has done a really good job at building up my trust in this area, but it’s no where near 100%.

The authors do talk about the kind of jealousy that, if Fred were to have a wandering eye, they’d say I had a legitimate right to feel. It’s similar to God’s jealousy when we turn away from Him towards something else. It’s a justified jealousy.

Anger

Then there’s the illegitimate jealousy that just stems from us being selfish. It’s the kind where we’re green with envy. Now this jealousy I don’t struggle much with. I rarely want what others have. There are things I want that other people have, like a 52” Smart tv. I think to myself, “dang, I’d seriously love one of those.” But, I don’t walk away thinking, “Why don’t I have one of those? What makes them so blessed that THEY get to have one?” wah wah wah

I mean, that’s just not me. Ok, well, there are a couple of things where the green streak might come peeking through. If a woman has a gorgeous head of hair, I would probably have all kinds of thoughts like, “Why did God decide to give HER that long thick hair? Look at my dumb, do-nothing hair!” Or if a woman is well endowed, heck if they’re even slightly endowed I wonder, “Why did she get the lion’s share? Where’s my part and why did God see fit to make me like this?” Now, that last one can cause me to have jealousy towards her too, not just be jealous of her, that Fred might prefer her physically. Then my mind is off to the races.

So, yea, Fred gets to deal with that little gem. I’m praying that as time continues on I will gain better trust of Fred in this area. I can’t say that that niggling feeling will ever be 100% gone.

The other part of illegitimate jealousy is that we’re jealous of any success of others. Whether a co-worker gets a promotion or your loved one is more popular, you’re envious of them and it causes anger and division.

I don’t ever get jealous of Fred or anything that’s going on in his life. I think maybe I haven’t been put in that position yet? I can see myself getting jealous of him being pulled in a lot of directions once he becomes a pastor. There could be jealousy if he’s not careful in counseling women as an elder or pastor.

Don’t get me wrong though, Fred knows a couple of my jealousies. I won’t name them here, but he has a lot of control over situations he puts himself in or how he places people in his life. For me, those situations are a mix of legitimate and illegitimate jealousies.

Destroy jealousy

In the end, I definitely want to be Fred’s biggest cheerleader. When he has success, I want to be the loudest person cheering in the room (definitely not an issue of being the loudest person). If my co-worker gets a raise, I want to be the most excited person she knows.

My task for the Love Dare today is to take my negative list from yesterday and burn it. lol I have no way to burn it. I don’t have matches or a lighter so I’ll have to tear it up in to tiny pieces and throw it away. Then I need to share about how glad I am about one of Fred’s recent successes. Definitely not a problem.

How good are you at sharing in other’s success? Are you jealous of your loved one or others in your life?

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