Monday, April 28, 2014

The Love Dare Day 6: Irritable

I’ve decided that God gave Stephen and Alex Kendrick a prophetic word to write the Love Dare because He knew I’d need it some day. God just left out the part that said, “Dedicate it to Mimi.”

I’m on Day 6 and for goodness sakes, it’s getting ridiculous. The first paragraph once again is me in a nutshell. Now, I don’t go looking for opportunities to get irritated with Fred. They just show up on a very regular basis on my doorstep delivered on a silver platter.

Locked and Loaded[5]

Unfortunately, I take many of those opportunities to tell Fred exactly what I think. I don’t live life in a state of irritability, I can just get to that point in the blink of an eye. Especially if it’s the same stuff, different day. I do have the rare occasion where I react pleasantly, but I’m not characterized by that.

Now, I’ll admit, stress definitely heightens my irritability. I think it does for most people. Not Fred, at least not outwardly like me. He’s more of a stuffer. One of the things that would be a good skill to learn and employ is praying through my stress instead of tackling it on my own. That tends to be when I get in the most trouble. Going about something on my own, at the moment, based on how I feel.

Today we’re supposed to react in loving ways instead of with irritation. Today, and every other day, that means I have to seriously be intentional about it. I’m NOT good at all with being intentional in a loving way. Well, at least not in this way, a gentler way. I’m supposed to find a way to add margin to my schedule (oy vey) and to list wrong motivations I need to release from my life.

One margin I need is to not be working so late into the night. I need to try and get a bulk of my work done during the day so I have time to sit back an relax, clean, blog, etc. Just not work. Fred and I aren’t together every night so it’s mostly having free time with my boys here. I’m not 100% sure about wrong motivations. That one has me stumped.

One of the prompting questions is “When have you recently overreacted?” smh Oh, how about yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I think about one of the ways in which I reacted to some information I received and I know I was harsh, but I also know it’s a bigger issue that doesn’t need to necessarily be dealt with, but where we come to a place of understanding. Sometimes when you see things differently than someone else, that’s where compromise or understanding comes in.


Would your loved one classify you as an irritable person?

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Lynne said...

I certainly wouldn't classify myself as irritable....but I think my spouse would classify me so, at least lately. I seem to be all over the map hormone-wise (54 is a good age most of the time, but definitely has some negatives!) so I'm sure that isn't helping. I really struggle with perception - example - Husband (entering kitchen while I am doing something) "what are you doing?" I tend to immediately take that as meaning "What are you doing??? You're doing it wrong". I believe that sometimes that IS what he means - but most of the time, I think he really does mean "what are you doing?" in a seeking information kind of way. We're so different that way - most of the time if I would see someone doing something differently than the way I do it, I would think "I do it differently, but whatever". I think he tends to think "I don't do it that way" and then SAY "why are you doing it that way, I think it would work better like this." I am 100% sure that he is doing that to be helpful - but it doesn't sit well with me. We have discussed this multiple times - and I have told him how it makes me feel. His response is "but I don't mean it that way". I know he doesn't, but for whatever reason he isn't able to not say it - so I have finally figured out that it is my reaction that needs to change, because it doesn't appear that he will stop casually remarking in such a way. I know I've made him sound awful - he isn't - and, I have realized that he converses with other people in that way too. I guess it is because he is perfectly fine with folks showing/telling him a different/better way to do things, so he doesn't understand that not everyone reacts like that. what a long comment! Clearly this must be something I needed to read, think about, and react to! Thanks for being my therapist with this series of posts. : )

Unknown said...

I am working through The Love Dare right now, and on day 6-Love is not Irritable. I google searched "wrong motivations" because I am also stumped by glad I'm not the only one! My hubby and I have been married for 24.5 years and we are still working on our marriage!!

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