Blogging Conferences and Getting To Know Others #SoFabCon

This weekend I went to the inaugural SoFabCon which was created by Collective Bias. I went for work, and got the benefits any blogger would’ve gotten. It was a fantastic conference. I met people I’ve “known” for years! To meet them in real life blessed my socks off. They no longer live in a picture that’s only one inch square.

I met 4 new people and got to hug two people I’ve chatted with for at least 2 years, Brandi and Christy! Thanks for the photo Wendy! This was at the Dallas airport as we were heading to Arkansas.

One of the hard things going as a contractor was not really getting to hang out with other bloggers. Now, this was something I chose to do because I wanted to hang with my cbSocially team and get to bond with them more. I tried to say, “hi” to pretty much every single person I came across. I was literally giddy with excitement having the chance to go up, introduce myself, and ask who everyone was.

That’s not typically me. I think being there for work gave me the opening to be bold. I have to say, I was shocked at how many people knew me. My blog isn’t well known at all, but I lived for years on Twitter and that’s where most people know me from. Now, they know me from Social Fabric.

My cbSocially team from Collective Bias!

I’m terrible at transitions, so let’s just jump into the “cliques” of conferences. Let’s start with the definition of a clique: “A small group of people with shared interests, who spend time together and exclude others.” I think the important piece to take away from this definition is the last part that says “exclude others”.

I have to say first of all, that I did feel like I was in high school again, but probably not for the reasons you might think. I didn’t feel this way at BlogHer, mostly because it was so massive, but definitely felt it at SoFabCon. In high school, I was the girl most everyone knew either by name or by sight. I was close to a few girls, but was pretty well liked by everyone. That’s how it was for me this weekend. I wasn’t part of any blogging group other than my team. I think had I gone simply as a blogger, I would’ve found my homegirls (I’m so 80s) or hung out with various groups throughout the entire event.

One of my goals was to hunt down find Sara Blake and say #IHeartNailArt for a bottle of Sally Hansen nail polish! I was so excited to find out she had some left! It was my first time meeting her, too!

Secondly, and this is the biggest reason why I’m writing this is, I don’t think that there were necessarily cliques. I think there were groups of people who blog in the same niche and/or have talked for years and wanted to hang out with these girlfriends in real life for the few short days they had together. Doesn’t that seem the natural thing to do?

I’ve been on women’s retreats with church, and groups of women typically hang out together. They’re the women who have bonded over the years and built relationships so that make sense if they get some time together they’re going to enjoy it.

If Monica Johnson isn’t one of the sweetest gals ever I don’t know who is!

Are some ladies going to have a tight knit group and spend a bulk of their time together? Of course. Does it mean that their group is so isolated that no one’s allowed to join in on the fun or be included? Absolutely not. I truly believe that if any one of us would’ve gone up to any group of ladies hanging out, they would’ve been welcomed to spend time together. That just seems to be the Collective Bias way. We’re all in this together! (channeling High School Musical here) The shirt I’m wearing right now, on my flight home says, “I ♥ My SoFab Family”, and that’s what we are, a family.

I don’t know if it’s the same in your family as it is with mine, but a couple of siblings might have a tighter bond than the others. It’s just the dynamic. It’s not bad, it’s just part of being a family. It doesn’t mean one or two people are excluded, it just means there’s a difference in the relationship.

I know we’re in full conference mode now so what are my suggestions if you’re going to a conference?

1. Make yourself available. If you sit in your room or don’t make eye contact with anyone, it will be hard for you to meet anyone. Hang out in the lobby or in conference rooms. No, everyone won’t always rush over to talk to the person sitting by themselves, but maybe, just maybe, one person will and it could make a huge difference for you!
2. Start a conversation. If you see someone sitting by themselves or there’s room at a table for one or two more people, ask if you can sit with them. Seriously, what are they doing to do, look at you with a nasty face and say, “no”? Ok, yes, there are rude people out there who might, but I’d say take a chance and have a seat.
3. Sit in the middle of a row, because what’s going to happen? People are going to fill in around you as a session begins. Ask a question of the person next to you. Make a positive comment about something the session leader has said and start getting to know that person next to you.
4. Share your business card. What could be more effective to opening up a dialogue than to exchange business cards with another blogger. Introduce yourself to someone and ask them about what they blog about. Make them feel important, that they matter and that you’re interested because they’ll start asking you about you and your blog.
5. Who’s in your niche? Now, this one would be tough for me because I’m pretty niche-less. =) But, we all know that there are a multitude of blogging niches: photography, parenting, faith, fashion, life, pets, DIY/crafts, single parenting, and this list goes on. Find people that you have stuff in common with! Get to know them and build relationships!
6. Smile. Nothing is more inviting to another person than your smile. You will look so much more approachable if you look happy and cheerful than sullen and uninterested (even if you are). A smile will open a world full of doors for you! Try it out!

Now, for those of you in tight knit groups, maybe, if you’re at a 3 day conference, take half a day and spend time getting to know others. Eat at someone else’s table or go to different sessions than your posse. Just mingle with others for a little while. Expand your horizons and get to know a few others. After your sessions, go hang out with your girlfriends for the rest of the night and maybe invite one or two new ladies to join you.

I’m putting a lot of weight on you (and myself) so that we don’t put our thoughts about “cliques” onto others. Yes, there might be cliques, and I really didn’t see them that way at this conference, but you have a responsibility to yourself and your blog to get out there and connect with others. Don’t be jealous, and trust me when I say I get how hard that can be, but be glad that some ladies have found time to grow their relationships and make them more real!

If any of you feel like you were left out or not included in some of the activities, please let Collective Bias know. I saw that they’ll be sending out a survey because they want to know what worked and what didn’t work. One of my suggestions is to pull from Bloggy Boot Camp where they don’t let you sit at the same table with the same people at every keynote, and I think that’s fabulous! You still get your time with your girls, but for an hour or two, you get to spend time with people you might not otherwise meet. That’s just my two cents for their survey.

I hope that you’ll have a wonderful experience at any blogging conference you go to and remember, it’s going to start with the ball in your court!

For the record, these are my personal thoughts and have nothing to do with my job. They don’t even know I’m writing about this because I’m doing it as a blogger, not as a contractor.

Wordless Wednesday: Rainbow

So thankful for the promise and reminder God has given us with rainbows!

Be sure to visit Full Time Mama for Wordless Wednesday!

Angry Birds Star WArs Millenium Falcon Bounce Game #spon

*We received these products from Hasbro in exchange for a review. All opinions expressed are our own.

My boys love Star Wars. Ok, Buddy loves Star Wars and if he can have anything related to it, he’s a happy camper. When we got the Hasbro Star Wars for review he was pretty stoked! Doodle got Angry Birds Jenga from his aunt from Christmas it looked like we were going to start a toy closet with all things Star Wars!

One thing about these Hasbro games is you get to put some of it together yourself. the boys had to add stickers to the Millenium Falcon and build the stand. I have this thing about putting stickers on with no bubbles and got to teach my son how to do it. lol I know, it’s one of my “things”. Ask my coworkers from Menards. =)

The boys got it together and they started playing. It’s a super easy game to play, but something I had them do in another room because quite honestly, it’s one of those things that has the ability to make you crazy if you’re concentrating. lol

So, to play the game, you try to knock down the pigs as well as land in the cockpit. The boys dig it because they keep trying to get the balls into the cockpit. They wanted to hit the enemy pigs, but for them, the high achievement was making the ball go in, in such a way it rolled into the cockpit. I love how kids give themselves their own challenges in games!

We also got a StormTrooper Pig Foam Flyer. lol The kids’ fascination with all things Angry Birds never ceases to amaze me! My Doodle loves this crazy “ball”. We’ve had to keep it up out of the puppy’s sight because she would destroy this thing. So, basically it goes with him everywhere. He’s always tossing it around. He wanted to use it for baseball practice and I nixed that idea pretty dang quickly. =)

If you see above, you can also unlock content in the Angry Birds Star Wars app. Have your kids (or you) played that game? Buddy plays it simply to hear the Angry Bird Darth Vader laughing at the end. He plays that thing over and over and over. It’s amusing for the first few minutes, but then…not so much. HA! The boys were pretty dang happy to be able to get a new bird.

Doodle got the Angry Birds Star Wars Jenga from his Aunt Liz for Christmas and I just know Buddy will want the AT-AT for his birthday next month! Our house is being overrun by Angry Birds Star Wars games! lol Neither of my boys has a problem with that. As long as they’re enjoying themselves, I’m a happy camper!

Fred’s View On Dating A Woman With Trust Issues

So Mimi and I were texting each other a few days ago and she asked if I would consider posting to her site to explain what it is like to be a guy dating a woman who has trust issues. I agreed that it would be a great idea to guest post on each other’s sites, but, honestly, I think I am getting off easy here because, although our relationship is still fairly new, I am dating an absolutely wonderful woman.

That said, no one is perfect and BOTH Mimi and myself are no different. We both have baggage. You see, both Mimi and I are, well….old. After 40+ years of life, everyone is bound to have something in their life that has changed them. And since both Mimi and I have crossed that 40-year old mark, we are no strangers to the baggage that comes with it.

But you want to know something? Baggage is simply that. Baggage. We’ve both been married before and subsequently divorced. We both have kids. We’ve both been hurt. When a person is hurt, they change, hoping never to get hurt again. Sometimes those changes are good. Sometimes they are not. But something happens every time that a person relies on God in their life, God changes the bad experiences to good ones and the good experiences become that which we are used by God to bring glory to Him.

Let me explain while sharing a few of my favorite scriptures on baggage.

Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us

So when I was going through my separation and subsequent divorce, I met with a couple of counselors at my church. Once divorce was pretty much a given, my counselors changed the way they worked with me. They started focusing on what it was going to take to allow Christ to completely transform my life. Almost immediately, they helped me to begin throwing everything off that hindered my walk with Him.

You see, I may not have known it at that time, but everything I had been going through was getting me ready for the future that God has given me. The same has happened to Mimi. Everything that she went through was to get her ready for the life she is living right now.

Deuteronomy 30 - When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come on you and you take them to heart wherever the Lord your God disperses you among the nations

One thing is certain. There will be good and bad things that happen in our lives. Both Mimi and I have been hurt. As you read toward the end of Deuteronomy 30, you will find two words that encompass a life direction that will stop a person’s heart from getting so hard that it simply dies. Those two little words are, “choose life” (30:19). CHOOSE LIFE! If you make the conscious choice to LIVE then your heart will never die.

Mimi and I both have not been able to tell another person (other than our families and friends) that we love them, in an overall Christian way (of agape, phileo, and eros). Our hearts died when we were hurt by our ex-spouses. But the awesome thing about God is that He is the God of resurrection. If we make the choice to let Christ back in to our lives, then He will resurrect our hearts. Because of Christ, Mimi and I have felt the love that we never thought could come back to us.

Romans 8:37 - in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

So Mimi and I are choosing to live intentional. To keep our intentions on Christ. And as we do, we are finding that God not only brings our love back to us, but, even in the tough times, the times where I become distant or silent, the times where she reverts back to her distrust of men, it is in those times that Christ reminds us that we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS! We are going to struggle. We are going to feel the pain of our past. But God has given us a model. He has told us to shed off our troubles, He has given us life to choose, and He has made us more than conquerors.

I know this is simply a guest post, but I’d love to be able to pray for those of you who are finding similar questions in your relationships. You can simply reply on Mimi’s blog or email me at frednoble11@comcast.net.

Thor: The Dark World Trailer

I was so excited to share this trailer with Buddy! We both sat here saying, “Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to see it!” This trailer is exclusive on iTunes!

And to top off we watched the first movie last night!

 

You’re welcome!

Like THOR on Facebook: Facebook.com/Thor

Follow THOR on Twitter: Twitter.com/ThorMovies

Visit the website: www.marvel.com/thor

THOR: THE DARK WORLD releases in theaters on November 8, 2013!