Thursday, October 1, 2015

It's Time To Travel, And I'm Freaking Out

Guess what, I'm terrified to fly on planes. I don't mean just a little bit. I mean ter-ri-fied. I have massive amounts of anxiety weeks, sometimes months leading up to getting on an airplane.

In fact, last week my boss was joking around telling me I needed to forget my trip and stay home to work because we're so busy. I told her I was absolutely fine with that. And about a minute later I was crying because I knew staying home wasn't what was going to happen. I used to travel by plane ALL of the time. I've flown around the world since I was a young girl.

About 15 yrs ago though, something clicked in my brain, and flying became a bad thing. It was scary. It's only gotten worse over the years.

Two years ago, I went on a mission trip to Peru. The trip was probably one of the most amazing trips of my life. Unfortunately, the flights were hard on me emotionally and mentally. I was pretty out of my mind when we left. First we flew to Florida, and then caught another plane and flew to Lima, Peru.

The flights themselves weren't bad. No turbulence thankfully. I just get inside my own head and freak myself out. One thing I've learned that helps me get through the initial stages of taking off and ascension is talking to someone I don't know. If they can distract me with conversation, then I can focus on them. I just have to let the people around me know that I'll probably cry, but if they talk to me, then I'll be ok. I always make sure to tell them I don't puke or go nuts, I just cry.

So, I'm subjecting myself to that plane ride again. Down to Lima! We're flying to Dallas, and then on to Lima. My experience with our previous mission trip was spectacular. When Fred signed us up at church last winter, my first thought was, "I have to get on a plane to get there." You'll have to be sure to check out the photos from our last mission trip down there. That was in July 2013.

I'm looking forward to our trip. Truly, being down there, putting wheelchairs together, possibly building a "house" for someone, I can't imagine anything better. Getting on that plane makes me wish there were another way to get there. It's very possible this could be my last trip down there. I don't know if I could handle getting on a plane again.

And yes, I know, it's safer to fly than drive. It'll be ok. blah blah blah You could tell me everything that's reasonable until the cows come home. Heck, I've said them to myself. It doesn't change this fear. Now, the "bright" side of this? I have medication for the first time! My best friend has this same fear of flying and taking medication has helped her. So, I'm planning on the same dang thing! If so, maybe I will be able to travel again one day. There are still a lot of places I want to see.

Do you have any fears as bad as this?

Mama’s Losin’ It

Writing Prompts:

1. Write something that begins and ends with the words “When I was younger.”
2. Listen to the sounds in your house for 5 or 10 minutes. Write about what you hear.
3. Write a blog post inspired by the word: travel
4. Locked out.
5. 10 Reasons why you love your job.


KatBouska said...

I feel you on this one. I hate flying, especially alone. My stomach will be in anxious knots for days before my flight, but thankfully once I'm ON the airplane I can put it out of my mind. Basically, too late to do anything about it now. I wonder how many of us are silently panicking at take off.

An Apel a Day said...

I flew with someone that is like you. I was there for moral support. I fear heights. We're talking heights that throw you around like roller coasters, bungee cord jumping, tired swings, and whatever else is like that.

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