A week ago, my boys’ great gram, who turned 96 in January, went home from the hospital. From what I understood, she wasn’t doing well. Last week I heard from my mom that my grandma, who’s 93, is in the hospital and being fed intravenously.
I decided I needed to take the boys to see great gram (boys’ dad side) one last time, in case it was in fact the last time they got to see her. We headed down to see her at Auntie B’s house. I had no idea what to expect, but I did talk to the boys.
It was important that the boys understood before we got there that this would probably be the last time they got to see her. She’s been a vital part of their lives, all our lives. We spend every Fourth of July up at her home with the entire extended family. We used to go up there every few weekend from Spring to Fall, but gas prices, and life changed that. Time came that we only went up a few times a year.
Those few times had the boys playing dominoes and making puzzles with her. Being at great grams was always a sweet and memorable time for all of us.
Unfortunately, when we got to Auntie B’s house, I realized great gram isn’t doing well at all. She was sleeping at the table and would wake up occasionally then go back to sleep. It was very distressing for everyone.
Great gram is distraught that her grandson and I are getting divorced. She kept asking me not to get divorced and telling me how much he loved me. At first I just kept telling her, “I know.” This went on the entire time we were there which was about an hour and a half.
Auntie B. asked her to stop talking about it because of the boys and then she asked the boys and her grandson to go play ping pong. Poor great gram is heavily medicated and this was definitely nothing she was intending to do. I think she wanted to know before she died that we weren’t going to get divorced. It broke my heart to see her so upset.
I decided it was time for us to go. I had no idea that my presence would be so upsetting to great gram. I didn’t want her to continue to get upset every time she woke up and saw me. It also made me sad that this would be the last memory the boys would have of their great grandma.
Truly, I had no idea the state of health she was in. I wish I had known. I probably wouldn’t have gone down with the boys. It never occurred to me to ask if she was lucid. There are so many things I wished for this evening.
What I am thankful for tonight is the time the boys were able to give their gifts to great gram. She perked up and they enjoyed opening them for her. It was a sweet moment. My prayer is that this is what they remember from their time with her tonight.
Have you ever known the last time you were going to see a loved one? Do you wish you hadn’t or are you glad you did?