Monday, October 17, 2011

Friends You Love Guest Post by Kristin at Kadbury Is...Thinking Out Loud

I met Kristin at the Minnesota Blogging Conference #MNBlogCon this summer. I was immediately drawn to her. Her sense of humor rivals that of any well known comedian! I'm so thrilled to introduce you to my new blogging friend!





HI!  I’m Kristin from Kadbury Is… Thinking Out Loud.  Over at my place I focus on sharing stories about my life and hearing what you have to add to the conversation. So far, I’ve shared about how rodents nearly ruined my Easter, how I trick my kids (known as The BLT) into believing that I have not, in fact, eaten most of the monkey bread, how not to spend a hundred bucks on a Pottery Barn lampshade, and why Katy Perry makes my head spin.  Today I’m going to share how I’m just a generally horrible friend . Hang with me… I’ll explain:


I’d like to think I’m an awesome person, the kind of girl everybody wants to hang out with because I’m just so dang cool.  But the reality is this: people want someone they can rely on, someone they can trust to come through in a tough spot, someone that will always have your back.
And sometimes, I am not that person. 
Not because I don’t desperately want to be, mind you.  I like to blame my goldfish-like memory and lack of organization.  I simply can’t remember what the heck it was that I was supposed to be doing 9/10ths of the time.
 
Please know that’s not an excuse.  It’s more like a ‘the first step is admitting  you have a problem’ kind of thing.  But wait, there’s more!  Another reason I’m a bad friend:  I love to be there to help you through your problems and issues, but if I have a problem… I hide.  From everybody.  Including my closest friends.
I won’t answer your calls and I won’t call you back.  It’ll get so weird that you’ll begin to think you did something to make me mad and not have any idea what it could be.  Eventually, you’ll get mad at me for thinking I’m mad at you and not knowing why I won’t just answer your call so we can patch things up. 
Yep.  I’ve done that. 
I’d love to be able to say that I’ve grown up and matured and become a wonderful, caring, reliable friend.  Truth is…


When I moved from Arizona to Minnesota three years ago, I left behind some of the most awesome girlfriends on the planet.  They were understandably distraught (I hope you’re reading the sarcasm there) at my departure.  Truthfully, we were all sad, did the goodbye dinners and such and then I moved to the Frozen North with my family.  My girlfriends called me regularly and left sweet messages, asking how things were going and what our plans were. 


I really, really meant to call them back.  To keep them filled in on our Adventures in Minnesota.  But I was always confounded by the time difference and I could never find the right time.  And… I didn’t want to bother them with my problems.  So… I didn’t.  It got to the point where I felt horrible about not calling them back, and went into hiding instead. 


I knew how badly I had blown things when it came time to visit Arizona, and I just couldn’t make the call to get my girlfriends together for a night out.  I had let a huge amount of time pass without calling to check on them and their lives.  Instead, I just put a small, ‘hey, headed to Arizona’ status on my Facebook and slunk into the shadows.


To show you just how awesome my friends are: when I arrived in Arizona,  most of them acted like nothing happened.  Sure, we discussed my lack of communication, but otherwise, they treated me as they always had. 
Incredible.  Obviously I am the most awesome human to walk the planet…
Please disregard the previous statement.  Obviously, I have the most amazing, caring and forgiving friends on the planet. 


Because we’ve been friends for over fifteen years they know me and they know my heart.  I may not be the most reliable friend ever, but they know I would walk over hot coals for them.  And that’s what has held our friendship together through my move halfway across the country.  I’m may be horrible at sharing my feelings or keeping in touch, but usually I don’t have to because they can tell something’s wrong without me saying a word. 


Maybe that’s how friends work… or maybe that’s just how my friends work.  We pick up where the others are lacking.  I know if I need some organizing to be done, I can count on Melanie.  Rachel is the best listener ever and Katie is just plain fun.  Me?  I’m usually the go-to for artistic stuff.  Well, in truth, I’m probably the comic relief.  But I’m okay with that because it works.  We each fill a need in each others lives. 


Since moving to Minnesota, I’ve made some awesome friends up here that I now love dearly.  I know it’ll take time to build the relationships up to the level that I have with my Arizona friends.  And I’m really hoping they’ll put up with me long enough to find out that I’m an okay friend after all.


--
Kristin D

Kadbury Is... Thinking Out Loud

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Be sure to check out all the other wonderful Friendship posts at Friends You Love.

7 comments:

blueviolet said...

Those are real friends if they picked up where you left off. Lucky girl!

Bruce Sallan said...

Now, about that monkey bread?

Beckvalleybooks said...

True friends will always be there no matter what, from a fellow goldfish-like memory sufferer lol x

WelltoDo said...

Nothing more beautiful than friendship and forgiveness!

xoxoxoxo Suz

Michelle Maskaly said...

Ha! I always tell people I have the memory of a Goldfish most of the time. LOVE that someone else uses this, too :)

Samantha said...

wow, that is some move! the temps alone are wild!

Crystal H. said...

I am the same way! I never call my friends back and it is so HARD because I work nights and they work days. They have weekends off, I have weekdays off.

I also love monkey bread!! : )

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