Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Are you a trustworthy person? If someone were to ask your family, closest friends, acquaintances, or coworkers, what would they say?

In my case, I believe if you asked anyone but my oldest kids, they'd say yes, I'm trustworthy. I'm reading a book called Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. In it, the authors describe safe and unsafe characteristics of people. I'd have to say very few of us are 100% safe or unsafe. We all have our moments. Through this book and Growing Kids God's Way I'm learning more about how my girls see me in certain instances and it affects every area of our lives.

On one hand, I'm the goofy mom and I think their friends like me. I'm always cracking jokes, cranking the mini van radio, getting the teenagers to sing Barney songs, etc. When I was working with the youth group last year, I'd say that most of the kids knew they could talk to me about anything. Unfortunately, that wasn't/isn't the case in my own home.

I try to be goofy with my girls and they roll their eyes. If I try to hug them or do anything physically sweet, I'm completely rebuffed. I also get upset pretty easily. I don't get mad all the time, just whenever and there could be any number of contributing factors. Sometimes it's mild irritation, other times it's a "Who the heck do you think you are?" attitude. For example, I have to ask my daughter to do the dishes about 5 times on chore nights. I don't yell, I just keep reminding and asking. She has been diagnosed with ADD-I so the reminders are needed. Unfortunately, the next morning when I wake up and the dishes are still sitting in the sink, OH MAN, someone's going to have a rude awakening. I have on a couple occasions started her morning off on an extremely unpleasant note. Why? Because my expectations weren't met. I don't give her grace by sitting down and talking with her about how important her contribution to the home is. Nope, I tell her that I'm sick of her being lazy and it can just get stinkier from there. We've dealt with this and a number of other issues over quite a few years. That's NOT the kind of mom I want to be characterized as.

What I'm learning about myself is that if my expectations aren't being met, I'm willing to lash out at those closest to me. The ones I'm meant to protect. No, it's not all the time, although if you were to ask my teenagers they'd probably say, "uh, yeah, all the time!" Eh, who can trust a teenager?! Just kidding

All this to say, that I'm making a committment to become trustworthy to my children. By God's grace and mercy this can be accompished. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I want to be an example of a safe person to them. I want us to have a wonderful, bonded time during the rest of their teenage years. I've been trying to share with them that I want, and am trying, to make a change. They will believe it when they see it. I'm determined to make believers out of them. This isn't a New Years resolution (especially since I'm just making it), it's a lifetime resolution!

Tonight I'm going to write a love letter to both of my daughters. They need to know they're precious to me. I do have 2 little boys and at this point I'm still trustworthy in their eyes. I'm hoping that God can change me enough so that I won't have to write another blog like this when they are teenagers. Well, by then who knows what, where or how we'll be journaling.



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Woven by Words by Mimi B is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.