Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Props to my help

Lets start off with what I believe is a known fact: I'm a single (kinda) mom. I'm not actually single as I'm still married. We've been separated for over 2 yrs though and he has no contact with our boys (because of a court order). So, to that extent, I'm an only parent.

Unfortunately, we don't live near family (2 aunts are over an hour away). Kind of a dichotomy living in Minne'snow'ta because everyone in MN is related! I'm NOT kidding. It's kinda freaky. Ever heard of the surname, Fobbe? Well, if you lived in a 15 mile radius of me, every other person seems to have that last name. Coming from Seattle, this is a phenomenon! It's also another reason why I love living here!

So, we don't have family nearby and we've only lived here for 11 yrs. Now, that might seem like a lifetime to many, but we're only beginning to settle in according to Minnesota standards. Funny thing is, my family is actually from here. My grandpa was a VP of something with 3M many moons ago.

Neither of my boys have a male role model. Well, they have very little interaction with very many guys. I intentionally requested a male teacher for my 9 yr old. My 5 yr old didn't have that option. There are men at church who will give them high 5's and razz them a bit, but nothing that the boys can sink their teeth into.

Well, yesterday, the lady who mentors me asked me if the boys wanted to go to a basketball game with her family. I was so excited. We never do that kind of stuff. Sure, it was a high school boys game, but who cares. They get to spend time with a great family and with a dad who loves his kids. What could be better?

This must be the weekend of blessing because this morning (Sunday), a guy from church called to see if the boys wanted to go ice fishing today! Let me tell you more about Scott. He and his family were missionaries in Poland for a long time, maybe 7 yrs or so. They came back to the states a year ago. Their son is a senior, like my oldest daughter.

Corey, the son, decided to do Cardinal Buddies this year. I was so excited because I had signed Jacob (my 9 yr old) up to be involved. Cardinal Buddies is where a high schooler spends 2 hours ever Wed for 10 weeks hanging out with a kid. How cool is that? See, I've been intentional as much as possible to get some guy interaction, even if it's with a high schooler.

I made sure with Scott that this was really how he wanted to spend the day, with my boys. He could've spent it with his wife & daughter, doing stuff around the house, sitting back watching tv or taking a nap, any number of things. And here's what makes me cry, he chose to spend the day with my boys; boys he has NO responsibility towards, boys he hardly knows, but boys who need a guy in their lives. How blessed are we?

It is such a struggle trying to do it alone with no dad in the picture. Sure, families offer to spend time with the boys, but it's just not a reality for most. Families are pulled in so many directions: work, family, home, church, friends, etc. What's left to give to others most days?

On your days off, do you want to spend that time with someone else's kids when your kids need you? Your wife might want some time with the husband she barely sees during the week. Do you pass her up to spend time with another woman's boys? Your home needs numerous repairs, big & small, do you put those off for one of your other busy days because you know there are a couple of boys out there that have very little contact with any godly men?

How am I supposed to feel comfortable asking another family to give up their dad for an afternoon? Honestly, I have to say, it's virtually impossible. I don't believe I've ever asked a dad to spend time with my boys just so they could be with a male role model. Usually I only ask for help when my teen girls aren't around to babysit. I absolutely HATE asking a family to help me out. It doesn't seem fair or right. It's very much a struggle.

Anyhow, that wasn't the path I intended to take. I wanted to blog and thank Scott for spending the day with 2 boys who need to know what it's like to be a godly man. To be around a guy who likes to have good fun and just be with them. I can't do it. I'm just not a guy. I don't ice fish. Heck, I just plain don't fish.

I'd also like to thank JoAnn & company for taking the boys to the basketball game. They had a great time. I'd also like to thank families who reach out to touch the lives of others. The impact of a day spent with a child is...PRICELESS.


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Woven by Words by Mimi B is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.