Friday, August 19, 2011

Finding My Sexy Again ~ Here & Now

Click HERE for my third post in this series "Where I Lost It".

Here I am 5 yrs after separating from my ex feeling like I’m finally free to move forward with life. At 42. Have I mentioned age is a factor for me…only for the fact that it’s a big number. 42 is such an obscure number. How can I be that old?

I know that most people who meet me say I’m lying to them when I tell them my age. Well, when one, such as I, doesn’t come close to acting her age it’s no surprise it’s hard to guess.

So, finding my sexy now is a very mental, emotional, and physical thing. I need to find a balance.

I want to have enough confidence NOT to get into another unhealthy relationship, because yes, I do relationships. I have no time for one night stands, hook-ups, etc. I’m a one man woman and I’m ready to do it for life!

How do I find my sexy? I know that there are moments here and there that I feel like, “Yah, I can do this,” and then I start to criticize everything. I have no clue what I’m doing when it comes to having the mentality to pull this off. I want to though dang it!

I feel like I need to take a class where a woman can teach me how to not give a crap what people think and to just stand on my own 2 feet.

Now, I know I'll never be Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson or Mila Kunis, but someone won't need me or wish me to be them. They'll love me for me, right? heh heh heh At least that's my hope. Am I crazy for wanting to be loved for just being me?

Physically, I have to remember I’ve had 4 kids. Whether or not the guy will remember is an entirely different story. I’m in that age group where the girls who are younger than me, significantly, can be potentially dating the same age range as me. Just great. Maybe I can compete with an 80 year old lady?

As for how I dress, I personally feel that has an impact on how I view myself. If I walk out of the house looking lame or frumpy, then that’s going to have an impact on how I see myself and how I think others are seeing me as I go through my day. I don’t have the $ to have all the latest fashions and I’m definitely NOT high maintenance, but a few nice pieces would be great!

brie has top bunk

I’m not in “shape”. True, I’m not heavy…BUT I’m not in shape either. My thighs have never seen a muscle. They just weren’t created that way. I have a slightly poochy belly…4 kids YO! I remember one time on Oprah, she had people put their hands out in front of them to guess how wide they thought their hips were. Then they had to bring those hands back to their waist to see if they were correct. They were waaay off and too large. I’m the same way. I’d probably make myself my old “12” instead of where I’m at now. It’s a mental game I tell ya!

The wrinkles are coming. I mean, it’s a part of life. They’re not WAAAAA in your face deep wrinkles, but they’re there nevertheless.

Having come out of 8 yrs of being with a man who was intently watching the breasts of every woman who walked my has definitely made an impact on this girl who nursed ALL 4 kids and has very little to show for it. Why couldn’t the “girls” have stayed full after that very last feeding?

Are there men out there who AREN’T boob men? I’ve heard there are, but I have yet to meet one. Is that because there really isn’t one out there and they’re all just saying that to be nice? Remember that Jim dandy of a comment from my dad?

I personally think “sexy” is a state of mind. What I have to do is find that place. Not an easy task for one who feels like they’ve been led through the woods blindfolded all these years and being told to find the way out. Some days it seems impossible. But I said it before, I’ve had moments.

How do you define sexy?


Unknown said...

I definitely think sexy is a state of mind.

It's all about confidence, health and glowing with happiness. I think if you focus on exercise, become fit and strong you'll grow more confident and people pick up on that. Which is what I think defines sexy!

As for the boobs, men like all boobs regardless of their shape or size ;)

Unknown said...

Sexy really IS all in your head. No matter your body type - if you think you rock and show the world you think you are sexy, well, they can't but help think the same. It's an attitude - after all, May West wasn't exactly a stick - right? Many of the women of the 40's 50's and 60's - not sticks, but women with attitude - were poster girls.

we don't get it - Men don't care about your body the same way. They want us to love ourselves, because to them, that's sexy. And having grown up around a lot of men - there ARE men who aren't boob men. Really! (I know a couple)

so look in the mirror, tell yourself you are beautiful and desirable - that's what makes it so. And heck, at over 40 - we're still hot - and we can relate better to men our age since we're in the same place in life.

you go girl! I love your attitude about getting your sexy back!

Lolly said...

It is definitely a state of mind. Of course, being quite a few pounds overweight doesn't help my opinion of myself. I have started on a new routine to help rebuild my image of myself. Hopefully, will get that feeling back someday soon!

East9thStreet said...

I just have to say that you are beautiful! I wish you the best of luck on your journey to finding yourself and look forward to reading about it along the way.

Anonymous said...

For me, sexy is how I feel after a long bath, a luxe lotionon, with my lounge set (silk blend) on, and a cup of tea on my back deck watching the sunset. Not about "sex" per se but I get that soul satisfied feeling and it makes me feel like a purring cat. That kind of happy makes me feel good about myself. UKWIM?

Unknown said...

I totally agree that sexy is a state of mind. I get not having a lot of money for clothes, but what I did was went and got myself a couple of expensive jeans (since jeans never go out of style, and they last forever). Ones I feel like I look sexy in. Then I just get cheaper shirts, or do reviews on different cute tops. I get a sexy style I feel good in for not a lot of $!

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Woven by Words by Mimi B is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.