Feel Good Friday ~ Some Good Worship!

I’d like to thank Laura, I mean, Erika (or so she says) from The Girl Next Door Grows Up for hosting Feel Good Friday! She holds this meme every Friday! She has 5 prompts from her original Feel Good Friday if you’d like to join in and link up.
The past week has been a whirlwind.

My boys met up with their aunts & uncles from IL and headed up to Aitkin, MN to spend the 4th of July with the extended family. Then on Monday the boys, their aunts & uncles, and grandma & grandpa headed to Canada for the week.

When they were gone to their sister’s for the weekend about 3 weeks ago, I thought those days lasted a month! Sheesh. This week has flown by. I asked my boss to schedule me as much as he wanted so I could keep my brain busy. Well, it worked. My boys will already be back in 2 days! WOW
My 2nd daughter had been gone just over a week at something called Training Camp for Royal Servants, a ministry of Reign Ministries.
Saturday was family day so we drove down there from Central Minnesota. Altogether, we drove 23 hours in 3 days. LOL It was crazy, but so worth it.
Smooch’s BFF is hysterical and had me laughing constantly. Baby drove, and terrified us, part way. Can’t even begin to tell you what that experience was like.

Now, if you are a Christian, you might recognize the song. I’m not sure of the name, but we called it “He Loves Us”. The words are easy for the chorus:
“He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves”

You can’t even begin to imagine how powerful it was to be in that huge tent with all these teenagers singing their hearts out to the Lord of their lives. They were singing with complete abandon.
I was so thankful to have been there to experience it. I love being with the youth. I used to be a Youth Leader at our church until my husband and I separated. They asked us to step down from leadership for a period of time. As hard as it was, it turned out to be perfect timing.
Being there, I can still tell my heart is towards teens. I would love to go back down there to help with Training Camp. What an awesome way that would be to serve these kids who are going into the world to serve the Lord.

The Weight of Shadows by Alison Strobel

The Weight of Shadows

by Alison Strobel

Book Summary
In The Weight of Shadows, by Alison Strobel, after a difficult childhood, Kim has built a successful life for herself ... but she'd leave it all if it meant being rid of the guilt she harbors over a tragic mistake she made years ago. When she meets Rick, she finds everything she needs---including a way to pay for her sins every time he hits her. Kim and Rick's new neighbor, Joshua, knows more than Kim realizes about Rick, but Joshua has battles of his own to fight. Soon to intersect Kim's and Rick's lives is Debbie, who has saved countless women from abuse through the shelter she runs, but Debbie might be as desperate for love as the women she serves. Meanwhile, as Rick's wrath extends to their baby, Kim must decide if her penance is more important than protecting that innocent life---and if she should dare leave Rick when he has the power to bring her hidden crime to light.
My Review
This is the first novel I’ve read by Alison Strobel and it was amazing! The Weight of Shadows is not a touchy, feely, life-is-perfect novel. In fact, it’s hard hitting and a stark contrast to most of the Christian novels I read.
Alison tackles topics that you don’t see very often, if at all in Christian fiction and she doesn’t hold back. Abuse and self-cutting are the two topics that are tackled in The Weight of Shadows and you can tell Alison did her homework.
When Kim meets Rick, you think this is a sweet match made in heaven. Unfortunately, heaven doesn’t last long for this couple. Kim learns very quickly that Rick has expectations and they had better be met.
Debbie is struggling after the loss of her sister a number of years before. She deals with the struggle by throwing herself into her job. Her work at the Women’s shelter is becoming more of a weight to bear.
Joshua lost his wife and is beginning to move on with his daughter. His in-laws bring tension into their lives that no one deserves. This was one of the best parts of the story, even though it was a hard one to read. Alison didn’t hold back with the nastiness of the in-laws and Joshua tried to be as kind as possible, but had to draw the line at some point.
The lives of Kim, Rick, Debbie and Joshua begin to intersect as the story unfolds. You don’t lose site of the story lines as you read through the Weight of Shadows. You are more and more drawn in.
Yes, faith is involved in the novel, but Alison doesn’t clobber you over the head with it. Not that there’s anything wrong with being clobbered by the Lord. =)
I have got to say, this will be in the top 5 books that I’ve read this year, if not the best!
More Tour Info:
Alison's blog: http://alisonstrobel.com/alison-blog/2010/6/12/let-the-tour-begin.html
Info on free ebook: http://www.alisonstrobel.com/free-e-book
book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Weight-Shadows-Novel-Alison-Strobel/dp/0310289459/ref=tmm_pap_title_0
book on Christianbook.com: http://www.christianbook.com/the-weight-of-shadows/alison-strobel/9780310289456/pd/289456?item_code=WW&netp_id=636667&event=ESRCN&view=details

An Interview With The Author

Q: Tell us how you write a book--what's your process? How long does it take?
A: I use Randy Ingermanson's Snowflake Method. I'm a plotter (as opposed to a "panters"--someone who writes 'by the seat of their pants') and can't get past the first chapter without knowing where I'm going. It usually takes me about a month to complete the snowflake, which is nine steps long and takes you from a one sentence description of the plot to having the details figured out for ever scene in the book. It's a time-consuming process, but totally worth it in the end. I also do most of my research during this month, since I often have to figure out details from research that help me in the plotting process.
After that I start writing. That's my favorite part of the process--the day I open a new blank document in Scrivener (the program I use to organize my research and write my first draft) and start chapter one. It makes me giddy. :) I can write the manuscript in 2 months if I have time to write every day, but since I don't, it takes closer to 2.5 or 3 months, depending on how many days I don't get the time to write that I really need.
After I finish it, I put it away for a solid month. I don't think about it, don't look at it--in fact, I try to start my next project so that my mind is on something totally different. Because I've had a book due every 6 months lately, I've used that month to do the snowflake for the next project. Then at the end of that month, I print it up, 3-hole punch it, stick it in a binder and read through it out loud. You catch a lot reading aloud that you don't by reading silently, and you catch more when it's on paper than you do when it's on the computer. This is when I make my own edits, and try to tidy everything up as much as possible. Once that's done I input all the changes onto the document file, then send it to my editor. That process typically takes around a month as well. And then I just sit and pray that my editor thinks it's good! :D
Q: Say you were teaching a class on writing. What other novelists would you point to as being masters in a particular aspect of the craft?
A: This is something I'd love to do someday! I'd have them study Jodi Picoult for her use of figurative language and plotting; William Gibson for descriptive language and story world creation; Terry Pratchett for characterization, social commentary, and use of humor; Stephen King for suspense and plotting (though I have to admit I've never read any of his books. I can't handle scary stuff; my imagination doesn't need any help giving me nightmares at night. But I figure the guy is on to something if he's as big as he is, right?! There's gotta be something to learn there!); Lisa Samson for social commentary and integration of faith. Hm, not sure who else, I'd have to think about that some more...
Q: What do you think are your strengths as a writer? Are there any areas you're actively working on?
A: I think dialogue is one of my strongest points. It's one of the areas in which I'm most critical when reading books--there are some words and phrases that people just don't use when they're talking, and when they pop up in dialogue it automatically reminds you you're reading a book; you get pulled out of that trance that you get into when you're reading that makes you forget real life. And I think it's one of the best ways to differentiate and define characters, by giving them such different "voices" when they talk.
I think figurative language is my weakest point. Jodi Picoult was a poetry major in college and you can totally tell. Her use of language is just awesome, and it almost never comes across as overly crafted. I, however, have never been much of a poetry fan--and it shows. :) I have to sit and really think to come up with good metaphors and such. Use of symbolism is also a weak point for me. My mind doesn't work on that level very often--I rarely notice it when I read other people's books, and it's just not on my radar when I'm writing. Those are two things I'd really love to be able to improve.
Q: How do you choose settings for your books? Have you been to all the places where you've set your stories? Are they all real places, or made up?
A: Usually when I start brainstorming a story, a setting sort of asserts itself. Sometimes because it plays an integral part in the plot--like Southern California in Worlds Collide, since one of the characters is a movie star--other times because a specific 'feel' is necessary, like in my September 2011 release tentatively titled Trouble Child, which is set in a small town in Nebraska. For that one, I needed a place where a professional musician and a fresh-out-of-theology-school pastor whose heart has been set on working in an urban setting would be totally out of place and unable to pursue the careers they'd hoped for. In the case of The Weight of Shadows, I needed a state that has grandparents' rights laws, to support Joshua's story line, which Michigan has. And I chose Ann Arbor because my good friend and fellow novelist, Claudia Mair Burney, lived in Ann Arbor at the time and was able to give me help with locale details.
Sometimes I use the real name of cities--like I did for Chicago (Worlds Collide, Reinventing Rachel [September 2010]) and Ann Arbor, sometimes I use a fictional name (Laguna Viejo in Worlds Collide) but it's always based on an actual place. I don't do well without the boundaries of a real place to work within. And it's always better if it's a place I've actually been to, but thanks to the Internet, it's not too difficult to get a decent read on the feel of a place, and I'm almost always able to find a few people who actually have been there who can make sure I'm properly capturing its essence.
Q: The Weight of Shadows has some pretty heavy parts to it. What was it like writing those scenes?
A: I cried a couple times while I was writing this book, I'll admit. And not just because of what I was putting the characters through, but because I knew--and currently know--people who had actually experienced all that, and much more, in abusive relationships. Putting myself in their shoes (in a very, very, very small way) while writing from Kim's point of view was just gut-wrenching.
I really struggled, too, with how much detail to give in the abuse scenes. I didn't want to gloss over it, have it all happen "off stage," because I didn't think people would connect as much with Kim if they weren't experiencing things along with her. I also wanted to give an accurate portrayal of what women go through in these kinds of relationships, and make sure I was "doing right' by women who had lived through them. But I didn't want to provide a blow-by-blow commentary, because I knew my audience would be totally turned off by that much graphic violence. I couldn't stomach some of the stories I read while doing my research, they were just horrific--but I didn't want people to react that way to my book! So it was a really fine line I had to walk. I think in the end I did alright. But it was tough, and I still question whether some parts were too heavy and other parts too light.
Q: So what else can we expect from you, book wise? What comes out next?
A: Reinventing Rachel comes out in September from David C. Cook. That book is about what happens when a cradle Christian turns her back on God after weather a series of tragedies that she thinks God should have protected her from. Then next year Memory of the Heart comes out in April or May, from Zondervan--that one is about a popular Christian speaker and writer for women who becomes an atheist against her will. And after that, Cook will release Trouble Child (or whatever it's called by then!), about how the behavior of a young pastor's wife threatens her husband's job when she develops bipolar disorder.
My husband and I also have two children's books coming out. (Though I'm "Ali Morrow" on those, instead of Alison Strobel.) That's Where God Is comes out this August, and That's When I Talk to God comes out next spring. We consider them spiritual formation for the toddler set. :) Keep an eye on my website for the launch of our children's book website, which my husband is building this very second. We'll have some contests there when the book launches, too.

Author of "Violette Between" and "The Weight of Shadows" (May 2010)
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                                  ***alisonstrobel.com***

Wordless Wednesday ~ Training Camp

Baby, Smooch's BFF, and I drove from Central MN to my in-laws in the Chicago area on Friday. Saturday we drove 3 1/2 hours to Training Camp to hang out with Smooch for a few hours then drove back to the in-laws. Sunday we headed out in the morning to make it back to Central MN for the fireworks. We had a great time! To learn more about Royal Servants and to see more photos of Training Camp head to the Reign Ministries website.

Getting ready to go to India. The last time we see Smooch until July 31st! She made it there the afternoon of Tuesday the 6th.

My girl is in front w/ black shorts w/ white stripe

Smooch, Baby, Smooch’s BFF

Me, Smooch, Baby

Can’t even put into words how amazing the worship was!

Join these other sites in Wordless Wednesday: J. Leigh Designz, 5 Minutes for Mom, and Two of a Kind Working on a Full House

Lost Island Smugglers by Max Elliot Anderson

Looking for some good reading for your kids this summer? Max Elliot Anderson has labeled himself the author for those who struggle to read.

My son read one of his books about a year ago and really liked it. Very Hardy Boys-esque.

Well, August 1st will give our kids another Max Elliot Anderson release.

Lost Island Smugglers is Book #1 in the Sam Cooper Adventure Series. This is an exciting story for readers 8 – 13 about three boys, Sam, Tony, & Tyler who go deep sea diving, face the most ferocious, tropical storm of their lives, and uncover an international drug smuggling ring.

Visit Max's website to learn more about this newest book/series and to find out about his other books to engage readers!

http://booksandboys.blogspot.com/

The Bachelor/Bachelorette ~ Beware Of Men in "Sweet" Clothing

I debated whether or not to post something about this goofy show and probably would have until I watched Jake and Vienna from the last season of The Bachelor.

Just so we're clear, this will be long winded, as I have a lot of opinions. My personal experience is involved so give me a bit of leeway. Thanks. =)

I have to admit that I didn't really care for Vienna in the show. I definitely wanted Ali or Tenley to be the one he chose. Vienna seemed very young and to me still acted like she was in college. Doesn't make her a bad person, just "young".

So, Jake who had been on The Bachelorette comes back for his die hard fans. Admit it, we ALL fell for this guy who wanted to protect Deanna. Be still my heart.

Well, after watching this battle between Jake and Vienna after tonight's Bachelorette, I think my heart seized up!

I watched him on Dancing with the Stars. Uh, he sucked. I kind of grimaced whenever I saw him and he always seemed to be playing a part. He was trying to be too sweet, too sincere. I saw him on E! or whatever channel The Soup is on and he wasn't amusing and he can't act. Why hasn't anyone told him this? Does he even realize that people are making fun of him or does he think he's so amazing it's beyond him that we're not all fawning over his acting abilities.

Alright, here's where I get serious.

Watching Vienna with Jake gave me deja vu. I felt like it was me and my husband, to a degree.

In our marriage, I was CONSTANTLY defending myself, which is what Vienna was doing tonight. Jake kept saying she was "interrupting" him. Yep, she was because it was the only way to defend herself against his higher-than-thou attitude sitting next to her.

Vienna had point after point to raise against him. She had verbal evidence and she would say concrete occurrences.

Jake, had nothing specific to point out. He'd just say, "She emasculates me. She interrupts me. She wasn't supportive." To top it all off, he loses his cool ON CAMERA and hammers his leg with his hand while looking at her with such anger. No, she might not have been in imminent danger, but if that's how pissed off he gets in front of another person, imagine them alone. One of the first things out of his mouth to her is, "You disgust me." Ick, definitely NOT the Jake from Deanna's show. Well, he was, but now we know he was "acting".

To Chris, the host of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, Jake says that he's never raised his voice in a relationship before. Well, if he can change so drastically in just 6 short months, there's a problem. I mean, raising his hand in anger, and yet the guy's NEVER raised his voice in a relationship? Give me a break.

I also didn't like Chris tonight, really for this first time. He always seems to be pretty even handed, but tonight he seemed like he was putting Vienna in the hot seat and never really asked Jake to prove anything or give specifics, except when they discuss the GPS (later in my tirade). I also wasn't happy that in the end he asked Vienna if she had anything she wanted to apologize for, but not Jake. He also pointed out that she had gotten a job in L.A. alluding to the fact that maybe she's interested in fame. Never once asked Jake about his plans, although I did read he's doing a spot on Drop Dead Diva. Puke!

Vienna called for a polygraph. She was ready to go head to head with Jake. She was not going to lie down and let this guy walk all over her. Vienna called a spade a spade and said he was a liar and a fame whore. I believe both are probably true. She said the only woman who will ever marry Jake won't want respect and will want to be controlled. I agree.

I lived with my husband for 9 yrs (we've been separated for 3 1/2). He always knew exactly how to do something. My suggestions weren't needed unless asked for. If I didn't do things his way then I thought he was stupid (for what having a mind of my own?). As time went on, I thought I was losing my mind. It was because of the mind games.

Another example from Vienna was when they were putting furniture in their bedroom. He measured the room and knew exactly how the furniture was going to be put. When she had a different idea his response was, "Don't undermine me." What the heck? As Vienna said, when you're in a relationship, you discuss things, brainstorm, find solutions together. When you're in a relationship that's controlling and abusive (mental, emotional, or physical) the abuser is always right. Even when they go on television (or in my case with a counselor) and say, "She's always right."

I'm tellin' ya, it makes you think you're nuts. You KNOW you're never right, but he keeps saying you're attitude is of "Miss Perfect". It's such a conflict with reality.

Ugh, I hated it when my husband would say that because I knew in our home I was rarely right. I always thought I was stupid. I never understood why he'd ask for my opinion because he'd rarely take my suggestions.

I think the real Jake Pavelka revealed himself on tonight's show. Vienna said that she was asking for directions from Jake. He told her how to get where they were going. For some reason she grabbed the GPS to make sure, double check, what have you. Jake didn't care that she would question him and threw the GPS into the back of their vehicle.

If you had seen the way Vienna demonstrated how Jake threw the GPS unit, you would know that he was furious with her challenging his directions and whipped that thing into the back. Chris asked him if that was true and Jake said it was. So what she wanted to check the GPS. Let her and then be a dork and say, "told ya so." Don't be a control freak.

I agree with Vienna that he emotionally abused her. Watching her during this whole segment as I said was like watching me and my estranged husband. Very scary and she is a lucky girl to be out of this relationship now, early on. Jake sat there smug with that stupid smirk on his face (that 1/2 smile that at one time was endearing), and she was holding back the emotions the whole time. Not overly so or being dramatic, just responding to the situation. You can tell she had no idea this was how it would all end. When you're blindsided by an abusive relationship, you question yourself and wonder where and when everything went wrong.

In my humble opinion, it had nothing to do with her. She was the girl with the body and he didn't want someone he thought would be a "thinker". He wanted a college age girl who he thought he could control. She doesn't understand why things went bad after a month. Jake, I believe had a plan and she was a means to an end. He got bored with the sex because he was using her and she wanted a lifetime commitment, a relationship.

Vienna finally walked off and Jake's response was basically, "See, this is what I have to deal with." The abuser show themselves as the "victim". Yes, I'm rolling my eyes big time. He was a jerk during this whole interview and if I never see him again it will be too soon. BTW, my prediction is, he will never and I mean N-E-V-E-R make it in Hollywood.

If only Jake had been as sweet as his portrayal in The Bachelorette and then on his turn as The Bachelor. Can you imagine? I wonder if he can even imagine himself being that guy all the girls in America swooned over. Maybe if he "acted" like that guy, he could start to take on those traits. Of course, I've already stated my opinion on his acting abilities! Miracles can happen.

Now, as a side note, my husband has been in intensive therapy for 2 years and it has done a world of good. He learned he's narcissistic. He's also learning that the world doesn't revolve around him. His counselor has been amazing and she doesn't let him get away with anything (I've been to a couple meetings, I know). He is a good guy, and spent so much of his life thinking only of himself, that this is definitely a new and improved person.