Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Ex-Boss and the Ex

A few weeks ago my estranged husband lost his job. I wrote about how freaked out I was and I have to admit, I’m still having moments where the reality of him being on unemployment shakes me up. No way the top amount of what he can receive will take care of two homes.

Well, yesterday when I went to drop some stuff off with him, he showed me a paper sent by his former boss’s accountant. He outright lied saying Rick was fired for stealing information…WHAT? How about he wasn’t getting paid (for almost a month) and wanted to take his paid vacation, which is when the “talk” came up and he was fired. Hmmm I didn’t realize asking to take a paid vacation was the same as stealing information.

Then, and this is rich, he, the accountant, says that he was there and saw the boss “hand Rick his paycheck.” Well, I tell you what, God was watching over us in this situation because guess what? I was just leaving Rick’s apartment when the mailman shows up WITH his paycheck. WITH. HIS. PAYCHECK. So, outright lying!! I’d love to see this guys license revoked.

Rick went to the elders at our church because he wanted to have this taken care of outside of the legal system and avoid court if possible. All he wanted was his last paycheck, his vacation pay and his expense pay. That’s it. Nothing unreasonable. The boss said he’d go talk with them, but that it wouldn’t change his decisions.

Now, on Wednesday night the boss will go first and state his side. Then it’s Rick’s turn and he has asked me to go along because I’ve been a witness to a little tiny bit of what’s occurred. As I said in my post, Rick has kept meticulous records with his work and that may be his saving grace.

For this guy to do what he’s doing, not paying Rick, lying, etc is wrong on so many levels, but I can guarantee you one thing. If we don’t get justice now, it will be served cold to him when he stands before his Maker. You can’t treat people like this, call yourself a believer and then run crying foul! What goes around comes around and I hope it bites him on the backside in the end.

Any suggestions on how to get through this? These are people I go to church with. His wife and I go to the same Bible Study together. His son helps out in the kids program. And they both work for/with him. I want to go up to him and tell him he should be ashamed of himself.


KristinFilut said...

Meem, I know it's tempting to tell him off, but it isn't going to help Rick's case any. Lots of love and prayers to you!

Liz Mays said...

You're the bigger person here, so you wouldn't want to stoop to their level. As you said, they're not acting like believers, but this is a case where you can. :)

Anonymous said...

As I commented we experienced a similar situation. We never got the due back pay or any severance pay and it was not even a case of being fired. They said they had shut the business down. That did not stop them from taking a cruise vacation and a week in a hot vacation spot. Oh - but that had been planned before this! Not that we had plans for the money due us - mortgage, utilities, etc. Maybe that was why we never took a vacation.
Not even a letter of recommendation or acknowledgement of years served.

I am saying count your blessings and do not do or say anything you may regret. Be the better people.
Be honest, do not give them any more than they deserve in the conversation, but take the high road.
If you protest his treatment people who don't know any better will say he is bitter for being fired. People who don't know the dacts love gossip.

In our case, their business still exists but only for family members (not us) and not the way it used to be. Badmouthing them will not do us any good, although sometimes I can not help myself.
Anyone who has to deal with them knows the truth.

dracomw6 said...

Does this person's business rely on the congregation for customer's?? If so I would have the pastor either put it in the bulletin or see is he/she will preach about that specific problem (like, saying how lieing and cheating are sins, etc)

Angela said...

Your Ex should contact the Labor Board in your area right away, to file a complaint! My teenage son had an issue with an employer not paying his final check and the Labor Board got it resolved for us quickly.

Anonymous said...

If your husband tries to get unemployment, his boss might state that he was "fired for cause" and contest paying unemployment benefits. Then your husband should definitely appeal--a judge will rule between the 2 cases. This happened to my husband 10 yrs ago. His employer ran out of money and wanted my husband to continue working AND travel with no pay and no promise of paying. So, my husband gave notice and quit; we were surprised when his ex-boss contested the unemployment benefits stating my husband "chose" to quit. The judge sided with my husband, stating that a huge change had been made in compensation (meaning NONE) and therefore, my husband was qualified for benefits--it was nerve wracking until that decision, but worth the effort. GOOD LUCK!! Document everything!!

Ashley N said...

I agree with the other two ladies here. Its very tempting to tell him off, and it would make you feel a bit better lol but in the end its just going to make Rick and you look bad when it comes before the elders at the church. Just ignore them. If they try to talk to you, either ignore them or tell them you are busy and cannot talk right now and walk away, or if you have to talk to them, dont let it get dragged back to the topic of work because its not something that they should be approaching you about, they should be talking to Rick and the elders, and any attempt for them to talk to you about it would be inappropriate.

As for church interactions....you are at church, you dont exactly want to tick anyone off while you are there. Just be civil, ignore when possible, be civil when you cant ignore. Their kids have nothing to do with the relationship between all of you, so dont let this affect anything with their kids or yours. And hey, if bible study seems weird for you, just imagine how weird the wife of the old boss feels when she knows they are in the wrong and she still has to pretend shes a good guy at church! Just remember that YOU are a good person, and everyone knows that, and your ex is a good person and everyone knows that too. If 1 person outside of the old boss and you guys and the elders knows about the situation, then I can bet you the whole church knows (if the people at the churches in your area are as loose lipped and tight knit as the ones out here are lol) and everyone will understand if you dont sing to the rooftops how much you love these scummy people ;)

Im glad he got his paycheck though! Thats something to bring up at the meeting! Make sure they know all the facts when you go, talk to rick before you guys go in so you are on the same page and he can fill you in on anything that has happened since you last talked. I know its not court or anything, but it sounds like this guy might actually be willing to make up for what he did if he is saying that he will meet with the elders and what not. So keep it to the facts, that way no one can share "opinions" and upset each other more about it all.

I wish you the best of luck with it, I hope it all works out okay!

Unknown said...

Awww! I'm sorry Mimi. I have been there! My ex-husband has lost more jobs then I can count and I always know that the child support will stop soon after.
I commend Rick for taking the matter up in the church. He is doing exactly what the Bible tells him to do~ and God will honor that.
Just know that this is in Gods hands and worrying about it is not your job. God already has ti worked out~ you're wasting your time by worrying! :)

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

I agree with the posters saying you need to be the bigger person. This is so difficult when faith is involved. A friend of mine, her dad is a priest and was ousted by a small group of very rich parishioners. But he had to stay in that parish for months before they replaced him. It was excruciating for him to stand before these people, to pray with them, when he knew they were undermining him for purely financial reasons. He got through knowing God would judge them in the end, and that he would always be able to say he was the bigger person who upheld his morals. People who love you, who respect you and your ex, will see this man for what he is and support you.

I hope maybe you can find a more supportive faith community that respects you and your loved ones.

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